"There's no reality unless it's spoken"

A gentleman was once said to me regarding how his cousin is the type of gal who would always have something to say about something. Hmmm...hnmm sounds like someone I know! Dare I say moi? lol

I'm a pretty talkative person, yes. And in my "manic state" my thoughts can get away with me, that's why I try to to get away and be alone with my thoughts. Of course this isn't always possible, that's why I said I "try."

But when you think about it, is that statement true? That what goes on inside your head isn't really true unless it's said aloud? I for one am prone to believe that your thoughts (not always what you say) is what creates your reality.

A lot of people have said that it's good to place your thoughts out there by speaking it, and sharing it with others. I do agree that communication is a crucial part of human existance. People are always saying that perception is reality. And as I get older I have found this to be true. You could say something, or not say something and whatever it is that you're putting out there could totally contradict what goes on inside your head. Is this what people mean by lying to yourself? ;-p

Do people share their thoughts aloud to get affirmation for what they're already thinking or do they share thoughts hoping to convince themselves otherwise? I don't know.

But I will say this, how you feel most of the time often dictates what you're thinking about and what you will say. With that, I'll leave the reader with ...Smile, this is the first day of the rest of your life!

"There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.” - Mae West

No, this picture isn't the real me, but it’s the inner me. Every day I have to close my eyes and pound my fists and tell myself that I must suppress the evil within. =D

I have stumbled upon this picture many years ago. I have kept it, and this is the first time I’m sharing it with anyone. None of my closest friends, and especially family members know that this is one of my favorite pictures. I wouldn’t know how to explain it, but luckily for me this blog serves as a place for me to talk about things that I normally wouldn’t talk about with others.

I first saw this picture as a teenager and was immediately taken by it. It’s funny, I don’t think I have looked at this picture in a couple years. I just thought about it today and decided to go look for it in my collection.

I don’t know what I was thinking or feeling the first time I saw this picture aside from the fact that I was drawn to it. And as I sit here looking at it again, I can’t help but giggle. Because I can see a bit of myself in it.

I find the picture to be very raw, mysterious, and has a bit of a nasty edge to it …yet sexy at the same time. To top it all off, I find it to be a little humorous as well. Am I twisted for thinking so? Perhaps. I bet you the gal in the picture would definitely not be the kind you bring home to mother! Your father on the other hand…. ;-p

Another reason why I think I like this picture so much is because I’m very curious to know what the gal in the picture is thinking. I would give up half of my wardrobe for it (and coming from me, that’s saying A LOT!)

The more I look at it, the more I’m intrigued.

I have come up with a few things that I think could be running through her mind by looking at her expression and demeanor. One of which is “Do you wanna piece of me? Huh? Well, do ya, punk?” Another could be “ All right boys, round up the usual suspects, cause I gotta get outta here. I have a hair appointment at 1”…or “What did Vinny tell you about me?”…or "Who's next?"....maybe... “Welcome to the black parade,bitch”…..or "We haven't been properly acquainted".... and my favorite is “I’m the type your father warned you about” All right I’m having way too much fun here. Feel free to share what you think she’s thinking, if you’re shy, you may email them to me and we can laugh about it together.

And I have noticed something for the first time just now, that although this is a very good picture, it’s not perfect. She’s missing a strand of pearl necklace. Oh well…can’t win them all.

What a better way to end this blog than with one of my favorite Mae West quotes, “There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.” I’ll drink to that!

"Enchantment is a mutually chosen state...

...that is to be nurtured and cherished..a spell cast upon each other by consent and desire...a gift not lightly given...a gift not wisely tossed away."

I will not go into details about how this quote came about. But this was said to me once by a gentleman during the course of my conversation with him.

Have you ever had someone say something to you at one time in your life that has stayed with you for as long as you could remember? Maybe it even haunts you a bit? I wouldn't go as far as to say that what he had said haunts me, but I do think about it every so often.


I do like this quote a great deal. At the end of the day enchantment is a mutually chosen state...by the parties involved. But what happens when one party chooses to withdraw from this state? Does that mean he/she is tossing it away? Or perserving it by leaving it in tact, thus always holding a perfect image of that state?

Sometimes in life we are faced to make decisions that are not always the easiest, but I'm a firm believer that people make the best decisions possible with the resources that they have for the time that they're given. No one deliberately makes a decision that they feel is bad, that would be silly. A person other than the one making the decision may think it's foolish, but not the persong making it.

I will also agree that if the parties involved were to decide to stay the course that the state would need to be cherished and nurtured, otherwise, like a flame on a candle....it burns out. My parents use to always say that the things worth having in life are worth waiting and working for. I truly believe in this. All a person can do in life is be open to the possibilities of what is to come. Sometimes the person may be pleasantly surprised. As I often am in my life. I feel that the more the person opens her/himself up to the possibilities, the more he/she will attract.

I'm a romantic and I often hold the notion that if a relationship isn't pursued, then one is perserving it. Now granted, I believe this only hold true if the relationship did not have anything horrendeously bad happen during the course of its life. Enchantment is a mutually chosen state, however if one party were to cheat, steal, lie or...commit some heinous acts against humanity then it goes without saying that the mutually chosen state of enchantment will no longer be so! Duh?!

Two of my favorite novels of all time are "Cyrano de Bergerac" by Edmond Rostand and "Lady Of The Camellias" by Alexandre Dumas,fils. In both of these stories, the reader can see how profoundly connected two people can be without really professing their love for each other directly. For those who aren't familiar with the premise of either story, the best description I can give is that both are about love. Or rather...unconditional love. Maybe loving someone unconditionally? You read it and tell me what you think! ;-)

Even though Cyrano writes poetry and love letters to Roxane, it isn't he who would deliver those words to her. Because he knew that she has given her heart to Christian, and in loving Roxane, Cyrano wanted to see her happy. Even if it's not with him. So Cyrano continues to write her letters but gives them to Christian so that Christian can go woe her and make her happy. I remember having read this novel for the first time when I was a sophomore in high school and immediately fell in love with it. There were some things that I had missed, but later caught when I came back to read it again. But the message came across very clear for me the first time I had read it. And that is when you love someone, you want them to be happy..not only that, but to love someone unconditionally means that their happiness and what is best for them comes above yours, even if that happiness does not include you. THAT, I believe, is the essence of unconditional love. The funny, maybe even tragic, thing about it is that many people will go through life never having experienced that. I'm old enough to know the difference between conditional and unconditional love, but young enough to admit that I don't know enough.

I think another reason why I like Cyrano was that it reminded me of "Lady of the Camellias". I had read "Lady Of The Camellias" a year before having read "Cyrano", the funny thing was that the "Lady Of The Camellias" was not required reading for class. I was familiar with the "Lady Of The Camellias", because growing up my parents would talk about literature and history a great deal and Dumas was one that they often talk about. I don't think they know to what extent I was really listening and retaining the things that I did. But anyway, when I saw the book in the library (because of the elegant portrait of a lady on the cover :::Chuckles::: yes SUCH a girl!), the synposis reminded me of the story that my mom had told me when I was a girl and so I checked the book out and read it. I was 13 at the time. Probably shouldn't have been reading it. So sue me!

"Lady Of The Camellias" is a bit more complicated than "Cyrano", but the underlying message is still the same I believe. If you don't have time to read the novels, the movie versions I recommend has Greta Garbo playing Marguerite, and Gerard Depardieu playing Cyrano.

I believe that in both novels, Cyrano and Marquerite had perserved the state of enchantment by forever creating a perfect image of who they are and what they stand for in the other person's mind.

I should also mentioned that both novels were based on true stories. Also, there's a camellias bush that's been outside my bedroom window ever since I could remember. I didn't know what it was intil my parents told me. Synchronicity!?

There's a modern version of "Lady Of The Camellias" starring Nicole Kidman called Moulin Rouge. Moulin Rouge, is a very good movie, but it had cut a bit of the original story and added a few new subplots- but still very good. Maybe it's all the dancing, and singing and beautiful costumes...maybe it was Nicole's enchanting beauty... or maybe it's just that love is a universial language regardless of how it's conveyed that won me over...

"Nobody else could say fuck and make it sound cute like you do"

Hmmm...hmmm...need I say more? But..since this is my blog I guess I will...

I was telling a gentleman about how people would ask me if I ever get upset when I don't get my way even when I try to play it cool. And my response was "Fuck yeah! I do! But I try not to let that bother me because that'll drive me nuts!"

With that this particular gentleman threw his head back and laughed and then he told me that nobody else could say fuck and make it sound so cute. I was very amused and pleased. To an eavesdropper the conversatoin may seem a bit crude. I mean it's not every day and in every conversation that one throws around the word "fuck" and then have someone say it's cute. I have to admit that was the first time during my interaction with this particular gentleman that I had used the word. And I felt that he would understand the context that I meant it in. And much to my amusement, he found it quite delightful...dare I say even charming? Oh how this girl flatters herself so! lol

This goes back to an earlier post where I had asked why it is that we let some people get away with saying or doing certain things but would be appalled or repulsed if someone else did the same thing. My reasoning is that we just simply like people more than others, but it doesn't quite stop there yet...I believe that sometimes there's an underlying connection that exists between two people in order for them to share and indulge in certain things with each other that they would never even dream of sharing with just anyone else. I know for a fact that this happens! Because we're all biased s.o.bs and give preferences and play favorites! I know that! Because I've been guilty of this myself!! And you know what? That's okay! I'm telling you that it's okay to let a particular someone get away with what you normally wouldn't let others get away with! Why? Because that action in itself, lets you know that you see that person as the exception to the rule.

Everyone likes to be the exception to the rule, and I"m no exception...

"I love life! You come for the love…you stay for the irony. "

I don’t remember the context of this quote, but I had scribbled it on a piece of paper that I had saved in a wooden mini chest. That’s where all keep all my quotes. Perhaps some day I will just publish the quotes are they are in a big book, without any explanation…but I realize that probably has little marketing value if there’s no story behind each quote. For not every quote can be understood by itself. Anyway, I had said this a few times to people that I converse with. I would often say that life is just one big inside joke, and there are those who are in on it, and then there are those left wondering what’s going on. I like to believe that I’m in on it. Are you? ;-p

But anyway, tying the joke in with the irony aspect when discussing anything we're passionate about makes for wonderful conversations! Why? Because people in general view what they're passionate about as a serious topic. However, I’m one to believe that most if not all things are ironic in one sense or another. You either come in expecting something to happen and then nothing does, or you come in having no expectations and something comes of it.

Let me share what is said of irony according to Wikipedia : “All the different senses of irony revolve around the perceived notion of an incongruity, or a gap between an understanding of reality, or expectation of a reality, and what actually happens.” In short, irony is an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected. Sounds like an inside joke to me!

I’m very fortunate and feel very blessed to be surrounded by the people that I have in my life. Sometimes, I wonder if they question whether or not they’re in on the joke too. From the looks of it, I say that most of them are “in the know”. I’m a firm believer that humor and laughter is the best remedy for most if not all situations. That’s not to say that I don’t take things seriously, I do! It’s just that I’m often very aware that life is meant to be enjoyed. If we don’t enjoy what we’re doing (or who we’re doing! lol sorry I had to slip that one in there - couldn’t help it.), the right course of action would be to stop and disengage ourselves. However, that is easier said than done. So I believe a way to soften and smooth the edges of life are by finding humor in things that happen and laughing about it at the end of the day. I honestly believe that if one looks hard enough, there’s humor in everything…you just have to be in on the joke to appreciate it.

I think love and curiosity are the two strongest forces that motivate people. Of course we all walk into a situation (be it a new relationship, a business deal, or a new place) we have certain expectations…or rather have an idea of how we would like for things to turn out but not necessarily expect anything. And if the outcome is contrary to what we had originally thought, I say that’s when the most interesting things start to happen. Sort of like when an actor forgets his/her lines and improvisation kicks in. The director and the people on stage are all probably on edge with what the person may say – but that’s what makes it so funny!

I think my life is pretty ironic in some sense, especially regarding my so call “maturity” level and my age. I won’t discuss my age, but rather I will say that I’m old enough to know a bit better, but still young enough to drive around with a penguin in the backseat in seatbelts. =) I’m told that I was probably born in the wrong era, and others have said that I am ahead of my time…which one is it? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I’ve stayed and am happy I’m still here. Tomorrow when you’re out and about doing your thing, smile randomly every once in a while - it will do several things 1) people will wonder what you’re so happy about 2) you yourself will wonder what you’re so happy about and 3) both parties will have a good time finding out. Remember, life is an inside joke…are you in on it? =)