"Outer beauty could only get you so far...and yet inner beauty... could only get you so far."

I had said this once in a conversation and ever since then it had stayed with me. I guess through time I learned to believe both and have tried to live my life accordingly.

Most people who know me know where I stand with both. But for those of you who don't, I will elaborate. It goes something like this: If you believe that looks does not matter, you are delusional and a liar (and liars don't go to Heaven...or so I've been told) And if you believe that brains and personality are the windows to your soul you are obviously out of touch with the rest of society and need to get with the program. lol Just kidding...partially. But seriously though, frankly speaking what I had said makes a lot of sense (to me anyway). Of course living in a pretty politically correct society people can't say that as blatantly as I had said it - especially men (not if they still want all their body parts). But that does not change the fact that certain prejudices exists because they have some truth to it.

People were given the gift to see and feel and connect with one another. What's the point of having them if we're not going to use it? Right? Right!

Why do women (sometimes men) get so worked up when others talk about the importance of looks? Yet very few people get upset when people talk about the importance of intelligence. Why is that? Could it be because people feel that looks is a feature that "can't be helped?" I beg to defer. I've seen and have met some pretty dumb - borderline stupid- people that can't be helped.

I learned at a fairly young age (though I don't believe young enough) that my "brains" and what I called a "personality" was not enough to get the boys in school to notice me. Was it a bit frustrating? Of course, especially when it seems like all the other girls in class were being taken out to the movies or in some boy's new toy. A boy I really liked in junior high, and I'm taking about tremendous crush here, didn't even know I was alive. He had his eyes on a someone else. Someone who was not at all "like me". I remember making mental comparisons between this rival and myself and the list just didn't add up. I got better grades (very studious), a bit more talkative, I even tried to learn about his favorite sport:hockey, tried to watch the movies he liked, often asked questions about his friends and family and what he was doing or did over the weekend. I believed, essentially, that I was a model girlfriend and was "better suited" for him in more than one way. One day I accepted the cold, hard truth...one that trumps all my qualifications/justifications/validations on why he should like me. My rival had one thing - that the object of my affection found way more appealing than my "personality" ...the one thing that make up for the fact that the girl was not the brightest crayon in the box - her looks. A very prett girl. Yours truly? Well, lets just say I was not even "the girl next door" - instead I was the "few doors down" kind of girl. I was a nerd, still am today, however I honestly believed that others will "overlook" the appearance and still want to get to know the "real me". I wished, and prayed and waited - it never came...

Granted, I believe I've always been "girly" type of girl. Because afterall I grew up playing with Barbies with Gone With The Wind playing in the background, so Scarlett O'Hara was (still is) one of my idols. However, I realized that I was not projecting that image (what's the point of feeling like a girly girl if you're not projecting it? That's equivalent to saying "Gee, I sure feel smart" when the best you ever did was a C in sex ed.). It makes no sense, therefore, just simplying 'beliving' one is something, does not make it true.

Also to note around this time I had started reading Lady Of The Camellias by Alexandre Dumas (It was not an assigned reading for school, it was just simply something I wanted to read on my own) and it was wonderful! The book gave me even more reasons to believe that even though looks may not be the 'most' important thing, they are still, nevertheless, important.

So I made the necessary changes, tiny steps at a time of course. I didn't pull the whole "extreme makeover" where I left school Friday and came back Monday looking completely different. It was something that changed over time. It really wasn't until half way through my high school years that others started noticing some changes. I don't think it wasn't until my after my senior year in high school that the most changes took place. Perhaps it was because I was 18 at the time, and was allowed (by my parents and the law) to finally date the men that I wanted to date. For the record, the junior high boy finally did come around but I was no longer interested. Serves him right! Ass!

I like to use this analogy in regards to appearance. When you go the store to buy something, lets say some cereal. Unless you know exactly what you want, chances are you'll walk down the aisle and find there are literally hundreds of boxes staring at you waiting for you to pick it and most likely you will scan through them. You'll see lots of colorful boxes vs the not so colorful ones. Ones with an orange tiger on the front telling you it's great! One with an rabbit telling you it's delicious! Even one with a cute little yellow bee buzzing around! All very appealing, and all advertises it tastes great, but very few advertise how good it's actually for you. Except for this plain white box on the bottom with a big red "K" on it which states that people who eats it "weigh less" and its neightbor advertises that it helps reduce heart disease and so on and so forth. But yet, the boxes there on the bottom are plain and and it's not strategicaly placed at eye level. So most people who aren't in the mood for anything in particular will most likely overlook them.

Another example would be lets say you want to buy a blender but the box is a bit rough around the edges, and the picture on the box isn't all that impressive - but yet the sales guy insists that it's top of the line with realy cool features. However, you can't get over the fact that the box itself looks a bit dirty so you question what the actual product is like. You want to open and see but the sales person says you can't. Most likely you'll put the box back and grab a different one. Even though you know that once you get home you'll toss the box away anyway.

Now the reverse could also be true for "boxes" with really cool pictures and comes in neat packages, but the product itself is not all that impressive and sometimes doesn't deliver. But the point I'm trying to make is that the companies that go out of their way to make their packages more appealing often times has more sales and attention. For a company to take its chances and say "oh people will overlook this design and realize what a cool product this really is" is very risky and just not very smart. Because most likely, people don't.

With that said, I'm a firm believer that an attractive person can eventually look ugly if the person has little to offer on the inside. I always tell people that charm and looks can get you by for about 15 minutes after that you better know something.


Please also note thay the importance of looks may apply more so for women than men? Why? Because 1) women are a bit more vain than men by nature and 2) men are more visually stimulated and 3) because I'm a woman and can only speak from a woman's point of view.